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no, i don't actually have an uncontrollable urge to exterminate teenage girls
Hi, i can be boring sometimes. And i often sound evil to conceal life's banalities. But i really am a kind and peace-loving creature. That despite the URL. |
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about this blog
got neither analytical insights nor flashy pictures to offer just trying to make the mundane a little less mundane! tagboard
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed |
classification: largely unparagraphed though not incoherent, generic though not hollow, self-reproaching though not self-deprecating musings unsuitable for the sleepy-eyed, myopic or uninspired 教育带来知识，知识附带着让人骄纵的权利，而这股傲气常常让人无法坦荡坦然，问心无愧地以真诚待人。蓝肥猪说的，确实言之有物。知识分子往往欣赏犀利且政治不正确的言论与态度，但现实生活中的最明哲保身，最过分深思熟虑的却也是他们，所作所为往往与向全世界标榜的所谓的清高的偏好背道而驰。宣告天下的思想也不过是现实生活中无从达企的欲望的投射面。蓝肥猪说李邪说她憎恨自己是知识分子，我说她憎恨得很有道理，因为我在兵营里看到太多太多知识分子因为知识的积累而形成了钻牛角尖的性格。有感觉为什么不直接抒发？因为害怕造成尴尬，破坏友谊，诸如此类。。心里面时时刻刻筑着一道防护墙，太多假设性后果的考量。 而非知识分子的思绪则不经复杂过滤，有话直说有屁照放，不因为标榜率直很酷，而因为尊重自己比安抚他人重要。这算是一份单纯吗？或许。在没有过多纷扰意见与想法充斥脑袋的情况下，所作所为全凭自然逻辑，忠于自己最重要。尊重自己vs安抚他人 - 还有什么更能激起内心拉锯矛盾的吗？ 但这不是知识分子的错。世界上虚伪情节的表面（是的，很方便地沿用苏打绿歌词）太多，有时候掩饰也不过很简单的是自我保护意识的其中一个层面。因为学习得太多，认知的太多，知道一切的美好不会自自然然地为自己铺排，知道世界是可以丑陋，可以有压迫的，所以当然不敢贸然行事。深思熟虑，钻牛角尖，掩饰，撒谎，自欺，只因为相信这样会让自己好过一点。 我相信掩饰的人不为了伤害他人而欺骗，只为了不伤害自己。 food for thought: is it better to be hated for who you are, or loved for who you are not? how do you reconcile the guilt derived from not being entirely honest to yourself, and the warm, compassionate love you so tenderly receive and cherish as a direct result of that (white?) lie? quote courtesy of the documentary women who love women, which i fortunately managed to catch at Sinema old school last weekend. it was honest, forthright and brave revelations after revelations, none too angst-ridden or grief-stricken for the sticking-out-like-sore-thumb male to bear or process.. which really is the whole selling point of the documentary. this, obviously, not just for lesbians, but for anyone who has discriminated or been discriminated against, based on intrinsic traits so dear to themselves yet so jarring to the indifferent eye. caught the short films too, weren't too bad. keluar baris and love me love my dogs shone, the former for its beautifully rendered portrayal of pre-NS dread and anxiety, and the latter for its almost mockingly awkward scrutiny on a (wo?)man's psychotic obsession with her dogs. really interesting subjects, and the comfort and exclusivity of Sinema Old School didn't hurt, of course. till next week. |