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no, i don't actually have an uncontrollable urge to exterminate teenage girls
Hi, i can be boring sometimes. And i often sound evil to conceal life's banalities. But i really am a kind and peace-loving creature. That despite the URL. |
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about this blog
got neither analytical insights nor flashy pictures to offer just trying to make the mundane a little less mundane! tagboard
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed |
201th post already. watched ahscds performance yesterday and rediscovered my apathetic self.. again. even the simplest of plays leaves me uninspired and totally at a loss of words. as i saw emotions raging throught the hearts of these drama-mamas, all i could do is stare, nod in response and wonder how anyone ever gets so philosophically emotional. i know there's nothing wrong with what i'm seeing, it's all of my indifference that i should be putting the blame on. and gf makes me feel that indifference is a wrong feeling to conceive. bah, i think i'm really not cut out for drama la, why didn't i stick to the subway sandwiches and cookies in the first place? typing all that makes me wonder when was the last time i actually teared. i can't recall. i felt totally lousy after the performance last night. i hate the unthinking and uninspired me. which is probably why i'm characteristically stumped when veera shoots me question like "what is entertainment to you?". what am i better at? defining entertainment perhaps. makes me rethink the value of those As. but what am i to do, being perennially caught up in this academic rat race? the unthinking me STILL doesn't know what he wants to do in the future. a year ago, i said journalism. half a year ago, i said law. now, i tell my friends, geography! who knows if i'll want to make the switch to medicine 3 months later. hai, i don't even know the motive of whatever i'm doing now. isn't that quite sad? maia and ccc. what commonalities do they even share at all? haha. well, they've both unexpectedly brought me closer towards jay's music and partially rid some of the stereotypical inhibitions i've held towards chinese pop for a long, long...long time. you see, maia first uncovered the song jie kou for me when she performed it at the NUS Talent Quest, and as you know, my idols NEVER fail to have the ability to raise the infectious quotient of any song by say, 9999 times once they perform it. and then came my lu yuan performance, when ernnie and weishan aptly used the melody of ge qian as a melancholic closing tune to our play. i think that tuneful piece managed to stir up the emotions that no other chinese song has ever did previously in my life. whoa! the power of what-i-once-regarded-as-bubblegum-schmaltz! irony irony irony i can't really explain the crux of his appeal which has since garnered him like, zillions of fans in asia (you can safely plus one to that number now).. it may be the revolutionary mumbling, that (pimple-inducing) mega fringe, or perhaps what worked for me is that adorably funny tawianese accent. "我拉着线，复习你给的温搂" (change to unicode) owell, no more of the outcasted moments i've miserably endured previously in kbox! u get the idea but still, a part of the inhibitions will never be removed. inhibitions like, my cynicism towards music video stills of this nature:  ha. i'm still the same old brand new (or rather brand new same old) me.  my favourite still out of ALL his MVs! *reflects* since when have i turned into such a sucker for romance-themed MVs?! am i not supposed to be the callous me anymore? *self-comforts* relax. it's only strictly qi li xiang. don't you still detest the tong hua MV? lol. on a sidenote, im satisfied with my grades for JCT. now there's an additional fight against complacency. nevertheless i will work harder. (*let that not be an empty promise*)please don't get the idea that i'm smart or whatever. it's just pure hard work, really. homework time. (see? haha) WARINING: MELODRAMATIC (AND PERHAPS ANGSTY) ENTRY AHEAD: 27 straight hours of slogging and toiling. internal migration international migration internal migration in Bolivia international migration in USA population pyramids demographic transition demographic transition in India demographic transition in Italy population policies in china, india, kenya, japan, sweden ageing population underpopulation underpopulation in bangladesh overpopulation overpopulation in canada. extensive? u bet. and i thought my chances were pretty good. 11:30am. zt calls mok zt: "aiyo..die already..cannot finish le! i think im giving up limestones!" mok: "i also! haven't study mass movements, and granite, and limestones!!" zt: "die le, i never study the malthus at all leh! should be nevermind right! aiya not very important" mok: "u never study malthus ah, i only going to briefly scan through, cos i got shorter version" zt: "ok ok dont talk to you le go study bye" with added zeal, i enthusiastically crammed the migration case studies into my very-saturated brain. i was only THIS close to eating the notes up. malthus? what position could that cynical demographer hold against the thousands of people migrating internally in bolivia? even the convex pyramids of kenya's population meant more. i thought i had my population geog down pat. and then came the question that shook me out of my surreal fantasy of getting an A for geography: (a) Describe and outline Malthus's theory of population resource relationship [9m] (b) Evaluate the likelihood of a Malthusian Crisis happening in the next 50 years. [16m] i think i was only THIS close from tearing up the paper in agony. i think i wldve screamed at 984320478320430 decibels had i not been in the lecture hall. and so, all that above melodramatic and oversensationalized crap is just my warped way of telling you that (a), i lost 20 marks for my essay instantly upon the commencement of the paper (b), i am sore and im not denying it and (c), i am expecting an O at best, F at worst for geography. so much for the 3 days entirely devoted to population geography. life is so unfair... wait, who doesn't already know that? i can only hope that my economics and lep results will be able to offset the disappointment Malthus (in actual fact, Mr Elwin) kindly BESTOWED upon me. BAH. off to slack. |