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no, i don't actually have an uncontrollable urge to exterminate teenage girls
Hi, i can be boring sometimes. And i often sound evil to conceal life's banalities. But i really am a kind and peace-loving creature. That despite the URL. |
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got neither analytical insights nor flashy pictures to offer just trying to make the mundane a little less mundane! tagboard
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http://yzone.omy.sg/index.php?articleID=12189&&option=com_article&task=detail&type= this was really not a difficult story to break. i thank my friend, not only for providing invaluable fodder for a story so intriguing it eventually landed on the pages of an evening tabloid (more on that later), but also for daringly placing his story of despondancy, gritty determination and uncompromising belief in the hands of a bumbling newsroom intern, who by the way, still constantly scrambles to find good editiorial angles for every piece of news encountered. there was much to be inspired by and read into from each and every of the little anecdotes helpfully shared during the hour-long, emotionally uninhibited interview conducted amid the mosquitoes-inflicted foliage along a deserted NUS corridor. we had lost contact for a good ten years, and it was amazing how the courses of our lives have panned out in such different directions and culminated with such contrasting results. he seemed to have gained, together with a newfound sense of pride and dignity, an impressively wide yet level-headed perspective of the world, that us ex-classmates can only continue to dream about - what with our materialistic excesses, empty whines, and most heinous of all, undying teenage girl tendencies (guess who?) we've all charted different paths in the past ten years, and while some are likely to remain banished in the sorry world of normalcy (guess who again?) for the next ten, his story is a good source of inspiration i can surely look up to and borrow from, to make my golden twenties ahead as fulfilling and as true to myself as can be. obviously, his renewed, empowered sense of self had to be accompanied by an unfortunate yet requisite baggage of tears and sacrifices. it really begs the question of how far you are willing to go to listen to your inner calling, when hurtful insenstivity and indifference seem so painfully obvious and inevitable right from the get-go. it gets more complicated when insensitivity and indifference stem not from mean-spiritedness, but a genuine source of love and concern that truly believes you can be better off otherwise. there had to be struggles, to preserve the purity of his dreams and ambitions, as well as to shrug off the well-intentioned yet ill-conceived concerns of loved ones without losing relationships and straining ties. that the story had to be splashed across an evening tabloid, with a somewhat offensive and sensational headline to boot, was the only jarring aspect of this otherwise poignant little journey. i will not deny the story more than satisfied my editorial needs, but i do stand by my initial words written to him, that i hope this humble little piece finds some sort of resonance with whoever that may have been, or are going through similar challenges in life. it really does take a major upheaval of some sort at some point in life, to master the art of coming to terms with life as it is, and to be at peace with the rest of the world. the portrait of calmness and serenity i witnessed was a refreshing counterpoint to the brand of bratty angst that plagues many of us, even as we try to shake off any sense of juvenile irrationality and insensibility that may reduce our complaints to just another hollow tirade. but try as we might, we're still a largely bratty, spoilt and fortunate lot, and when you see people faced with challenges like these, it simply grounds and humbles you. for that one week, i thought my problems were truly inconsequential, and absolutely a product of, you know, 闲愁. kindly refer to previous entry to more musings pertaining to that. 年轻，所以爱闲愁。 有时即使没有烦恼，也爱任由想象把自己的内心世界曲折化、唯美化。把生命中奢望而得不到的，化为惆怅得凄美的意象在脑子里播放，偷偷咀嚼享受着这样的滋味。 尚且不论所谓的凄美意象，是否有如悲情韩剧般洒狗血地荡气回肠。 这样的情怀若以理性思考，还真的令人毛站。跳脱幻觉归于现实时，真的觉得自己根本是放纵沉溺于幼稚的少男情怀。好。恶。心。但不经意沉浸于闲愁时，却又像在稀释自怜自怨自艾的情绪，越楚楚可怜越好。 我想是电影看多了。动人心弦的电影配乐听多了。可是还是要一直很有意识地提醒自己，影像拍得多精致，音乐配得多感人肺腑，结合起来不过流于一场华丽的计算，如此罢了。 十全十美，毫无秘密，没有丝丝烦恼的人生或许太无聊。有时倚靠巴士车窗看风景从侧面闪过，耳机里播放某某沾染淡淡忧伤的电影原声带配乐，脑子便开始联想起生命中难以挣脱的委屈与不平。这何尝不是一种生活情趣？我无法解释自己为什么会在负面遐想中找到莫名的慰藉。就像一些女生为什么会因为想大哭一场而故意去看悲情催泪韩剧一样。 可是很重要的一点是，闲愁的乐趣其实建立在快乐生活的基础上。闲愁是一种不牵涉柴米油盐、真实情感、生活生计等重要生活细节的情绪。可以闲愁，是幸福的。这代表在现实生活中没有真正值得操心劳神的问题。闲愁为已快乐充足的生活添上灰色调，让不安于美满，不知足的人有了怜惜自己，渴望他人疼惜自己的理由。 好犯贱。 听听这段电影配乐。它让你心中激起什么样的唯美闲愁与遐想？ |