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no, i don't actually have an uncontrollable urge to exterminate teenage girls
Hi, i can be boring sometimes. And i often sound evil to conceal life's banalities. But i really am a kind and peace-loving creature. That despite the URL. |
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got neither analytical insights nor flashy pictures to offer just trying to make the mundane a little less mundane! tagboard
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed |
if 2005 was the year of the jay, 2006 the year of the out-and-proud mugging, then 2007, as it gradually draws to an end now, shall rightfully be called the year-of-the-reckless-watching-of-m18-after-r21-after-m18 movies. the only reason why i chose that over something like, the year-of-slavery, the year-of-the-sodagreen or even better, the-year-androgynous-voices-suddenly-became-classy-cool is because self-proclaiming to be an out-and-proud fanboy just isn't very classy-cool when you're nearing the grand 20, no matter how indie-sounding the band name is. it's kinda like a half-morbid obsession. whichever sane being goes around clicking the timeslots on the gv online ticketing system to chuckle at movies that have pathetic box office turnouts? or marvelling at the number of seats (53)that are jam-packed into a single row at the cinema hall 2 of shaw prince theatre? i think i officially have a closet teenage idealist ambition more ridiculous though less unwholesome than being an autopsist, undertaker or forensic scientist - to open a non profit maximizing cinema chain that devotes 10 screens to notes on a scandal, 10 screens to summer palace, 10 screens to the uncut lust, caution, and half a screen to spiderman 3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10 (however many sequels, prequels, whateever, they can dream up) on a regular cinema heyday! but in an era where mothers insist on conceiving girls and subsequently create the tragic product that is the type A teenage girl 12 years later, such a grandiloquent ambition is merely a by-product of my watching of too many slightly weird films all year round, and shall realize only in an alternate universe where kids grow to the age of 12, disappear into a black hole, and reappear only when they are 17. a total of 41 movies caught in the cinemas, and 2 on dvds this year. category one: the unapologetically gory  saw 3 turistas hostel 2 captivity 28 weeks later grindhouse: death proof & planet terror 13: game of death black sheep vacancy you're not gonna hear saw 3 vying for best picture at the oscars anytime soon, but hey, these are the movies that guiltlessly, unabashedly and unapologetically milk those squeams, screams, and laughs out of the audience who specially left their brains at the theatre doorstep, who basically paid to simply revel in the splattery, squishy, icky fun the directors and characters themselves indulge in onscreen. if you take the moral high ground and decide to abhor gore for noble socially-conscious reasons, not even a 4.5 star review of planet terror will get your ass into the cinemas. and if you love it, you'll simply love it for the rest of your life. no, not even something like SAW IX, if there ever will be one, will quench the blood thirst and hunger pangs. category 2: the beautifully melancholic   summer palace /颐和园 eternal summer /盛夏光年 lust, caution /色,戒 blue gate crossing /蓝色大门 right. only shallow and impressionable teenagers get overwhelmed and consumed by sleek cinematography, breathy reflective voiceovers and wistful, heartwrenching muscial scores. whatever. go indulge in your grainy hand-held cam filmed noroi: the curse then. notwithstanding the aforementioned technical aspects of the film, i think i've discovered a forumla for the move-callous-lzt-a-wee-bit movie: step one: get a controversial central theme (e.g. summer palace - sexual awakening against the backdrop of tian an men riots) step two: throw in actors and actresses who are not necessarily drop dead gorgeous, but have got a unique and attractive air of sensitivity and tenderness to boot (e.g. tang wei, guey lun mei, tony leung, bryant chang) step three: then some good ol unrequited love and desires connected to the controversial central theme (summer palace: never finding emotional gratification because all yu hong has done in 10 years was to f*** around and look wistful thereafter / eternal summer: earthshattering confession in return for a brutally ambiguous answer) of course, the cinematography and soundtrack really played a huge role. there was so much tender lyricism in these movies, i think i momentarily felt shallow for being hyper-enthusiastic about hostel 2. category 3: the arthouse, dun-really-know-what-they-talking-about 3 needles little children the history boys the blossoming of maximo oliverios every now and then, you step into a cinema wanting to brag about having watched a critically acclaimed oh-so-indie movie, only to step out with a blur face, an empty head, and mak-sai at the edge of your eyes to boot (yes, i think i fell asleep thrice for each of the aforementioned movies). the self-consoling, self-reflective question i pose to myself after these snoozefests: is it my embarrassing ignorance, or their arty-farty self-indulgence? the triplets of belleville at the art house, anyone? category 4: the taboos-a-smashing, nastily entertaining  notes on a scandal black snake moan savage grace transamerica how many taboo themes do you need throw into the taboo pot to concoct that nastily delicious taboo thriller? plentiful, it seems. notes on a scandal, one of the most riveting thrillers ive seen this year, had a shrivelled old *LESBIAN FALLING FOR HER FELLOW SCHOOLTEACHER* and subsequently blackmailing her after the discovery of her *TYRSTS WITH HER 15 YEAR OLD STUDENT*! black snake moan had a *GOD-FEARING* blues singer *CHAINING UP* a *NYMPHOMANIAC* to cure her of her *NYMPHOMANIA*, and then developing an *UNUSUAL RELATIONSHIP* with her. savage grace had a insanely *DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY*, that consisted of a *FATHER WHO STOLE HER SON'S GIRLFRIED* and an out-of-the-world mother who *SHARED A BISEXUAL LOVER WITH HER SON*, *PROCEEDED TO ENJOY A MENAGE A TROIS WITH THE BOTH OF THEM*, *TRIED CURING HER SON OF HIS ORIENTATION BY PERSONALLY HUMPING HIM* and eventually got *MURDERED BY HER SON*. all i can say is, long before britney spears, there existed barbara baekland. Category 5: the jubilant, triumphant, euphoric, laugh-out-loud, grin-like-clown  just follow law / 我在政府部门的日子 mr bean's holiday hairspray i now pronounce you chuck and larry a stitches-inducing comedy is truly hard to come by. if it's not too-contrived-for-comfort, tumbling-down-the-stairs slapstick, it must be crude fratboy sexual humour artifically played up for laughs. but occasionally something as lovable as mean girls pop up, and when they do, they really give a much frowned upon trait like bitchiness a whole new, wholesomely hilarious dimension. like how just follow law made unthinking, corporate-jargon spewing civil servants funny. (corporate jargon like, oh, the 3 Rs - reinvent, recreate, rejuvenate!) like how i now pronounce you chuck and larry shamlessly milked laughs out of homophobic characters and situations. Category 6: the experimental   881 dreamgirls the dead girl joshua ratatouille the home song stories 200 pounds beauty secret / 不能说的秘密 spider lilies / 刺青 19 year old, hot-blooded teenagers love experimentation in all forms, don't they? and if experimentation's supposed to make me discern closet preferences from just the innocent, fleeting curiosities, then in future, $9.50s shall no longer be squandered on 1) hyped up hokkien musicals 2) hyped up, moralistic cartoons that happen to feature adorable rodents 3) hyped up, arty-farty but also self-indulgent lesbo dramas that happen to feature a cutsey celebrity trying to add edge to her image 4) korean fairytales that believe too much in the power of extreme makeover instead, they shall be saved for 1) cheesy sounding though artily shot time travel stories that happen to feature a particular ethereally beautiful and charismatic guey lun mei 2) haunting short stories linked to a common weird theme that each display the vulnerability and fragility of the abused human soul 3) reflective and also very tragical biographies of suicidal mothers Category 7: the ugly, ugly exposes  ghosts / 鬼佬 sicko testimony to the fact that the world can never be contented enough. because evil and power-hungry people exist. because inequality is almost an inherent social phenomenon that exist in every other form in every other country, place, society we live in. because we were never made equal. because the lower classes perpetually bemoan the lack of opportunity as much as the upper classes advocate the power of good ol' meritocracy. more succicntly, because life sucks sometimes. Category 8: the fall-flat-on-face, pain-in-the-ass-to-sit-through superbad confessions of pain / 伤城 curse of the golden flower / 满城尽带黄金甲 the reaping poltergay and then there are the unwatchable ones devoid of not just artistic merit but also basic entertainment value. the peculiar thing is, they all have uncanny self-fulfilling titles. superbad was just that, superbad - a jolting reminder that a miscellaneous jumbling of penises, pussies and what-have-you sexual organs do not automatically make a sex comedy funny. and with confessions of pain, the only logical thing to do after the show was to confess how painful it was to sit through the emotional tussle of two cops expressed through the emotionless faces of those two cops. the curse of the golden flower was cursed the moment 12th/13th/14th/whatever century boobs took centrestage, the reaping reaped nothing but yawns and question marks, and poltergay was just way too ghey to fuction. hahaha favourite films of 2007: 1)notes on a scandal 2)ghosts 3)eternal summer 4)hairspray 5)hostel 2 what a long entry. alright, so the blogging bug bit okay? and might as well have it right before i leave for rockhampton in australia tomorrow, where a month's worth of orgamsic outfields will likely mentally incapacitate me and render the writing of remotely meaningful entries impossible. will be back on 23rd november. take care, all you fortunate people. and go grab sodagreen's new album when it comes out on 2/11. yes, head-on collision with the mumbling serendader turned mumbling cowboy. just download the latter alright? i'll miss this place! await my return! stifling self censorship will eventually be the death of this public blog. |