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no, i don't actually have an uncontrollable urge to exterminate teenage girls
Hi, i can be boring sometimes. And i often sound evil to conceal life's banalities. But i really am a kind and peace-loving creature. That despite the URL. |
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about this blog
got neither analytical insights nor flashy pictures to offer just trying to make the mundane a little less mundane! tagboard
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taiwan trip + prom back-to-back. this is gonna be one helluva mammoth entry that's gonna take me hours. the time that'll be taken to upload those pics alone will be enough for me to finish yet another copy of 8 days and learn new beautiful phrases like 'fleeting happiness of youthful abandonment' from the likes of tommy wee & co. but it's impossible to not update about these 2 events right? and so i figured that the best way to make the taiwan trip recount a succinct yet poignant-sounding one is to present it in a 'top 10 golden moments' fashion. Because the idea of a ranking chart excites people. Because the idea of ten seperate golden photo moments makes things clear cut. so here we go - top 10 taipei extravaganza (as how gf idealistically puts it) golden moments! (i know i said ranking chart, but this is in no order of preference:) 1) The Departure Hall  months of anticipation admidst agonizing mugging culminated in our enthusiastic arrival into the departure hall of Changi Airport T1. you absolutely cannot imagine how ecstatic i was. to be able to wander off to a foreign land together with 3 friends i've known for ten years (well, plus a mother). to be able to throw my books behind, jet off, and wake up in the hotel room every morning in a peaceful state of mind, knowing that i no longer have to subject myself to torturous self-imposed schedules. to be able to splurge like there's no tomorrow and set myself on materialistic/vainpot mode, just for 6 days. so liberating. 2) the land of culinary delights   i love the taiwanese culture. yes, every sentence they speak is so melodiously pitched it could well fit into a stanza of a musical score. yet that's what make them sound extra hospitable. as compared to the vocal monotony of singaporean sales assistants. the disparity of service standards is staggering, really! ok, either all taiwanese sales assistants have their salaries pegged to the company's profits, or singaporeans really have some self-reflection to do. so i was supposed to be talking about culinary delights. oh yes, food was awesome. it could be that i'm plain biased, it could be the novelty of jap-influenced fancy packaging, or more likely, the cold max-20 degrees weather which makes you appreciate piping hot food a whole lot more. either way, mariam probably gained a kilo, me two, and gf twenty. (conversely, mok probably lost weight, having undergone the six most tragical days of her life - read on) 3) Saw 3   another reason why i love the taiwanese culture. they don't have media watchdogs who automatically assume that their society is 'by and large a conservative one' (urgh, that phrase irks me so) so the 16 year old looking lzt got his much coveted saw3 tickets without any form of verification or whatsoever. and my, was it a bloody gorefest. add hooks on a body with acid-burned hands, reversed and subsequently ripped ribcages, liquefied maggot-infested carcasses, and live cranial surgery shown in full gory glory, and you get the sight of mok wen jie covering her eyes from the opening credits right to the closing credits. i was informed that saw 3 was meant to be a psychological thriller that was supposed to be scary. crap. it's black humour totally! LOL. i mean, a cranial surgery shown in full (skin removing, then skull sawing, then tumour poking, throw in gallons of bright red blood) is gory yet obviously pointless. so pointless that it borders on being funny. really! nonetheless i enjoyed saw 3. it set out to be a no-brainer and turns out to be just that, a no-brainer. 4)The joy of the mid-latitudes  you know what, being situated in the tropical latitudes suck. for the geographically challenged, tropical latitudes = equatorial regions. people are historically uglier. ridiculous? no. the aspiring geographer of a lzt has this hypothesis. in the tropical latitudes, we get 12 hours of daylight throughout the entire year. and so, we have only one friggin boring season that is summer. summers are warm. tropics also get higher rainfall and are thus likelier to be humid. warm and humid environments put oil glands in action. and our faces are thus the perfect breeding ground for pimples. and so, people in singapore are likelier to have pimples than people in taiwan. and since we only have one friggin boring season that is summer, winter fashion is a no-no. generally, guys cannot wear jackets in singapore and not be ridiculed as posers. jackets make guys look spiffy and more suave. and so, guys in singapore are likelier to dress shabbily as compared to guys in taiwan. makes sense? also, the presence of four seasons breeds romanticism. you see, it's hard to fall in love and feel like u're in an idol drama when u're sticky and sweaty all over in a concrete jungle. and you wonder why singaporeans aren't romantic. because we're in the tropical latitudes, and that sucks. try finding me a country along the equator that's famous for pretty people and romance. hmmm, you have kenya, congo, gabon, ecuador, suriname, indonesia, papau new guinea and somalia. paris is located at 50N for your info. RAHH. btw, the picture on top is merely a testimony to the fact that we were in the mid-latitudes for six days. 5) Nearly swept away (Taipei 101)  could it be that geostrophic wind? or was it the jet stream? judging from wind swept shape of my hay-like hair, you could well guess the velocity of the tail wind that was raging on the 92nd floor of taipei 101. nice view of taipei city, though 6) Nozomi mocking (Day 1-Day 6)  every now and then, a classic nickname emerges. it becomes the joke of the day, the day after, and the day after the next. historical examples include: Rosy (1999), Lucy (1999), Margaret (1999), Mariam (2001), Hulu (2001), Neh-O (2003), Mangtang (2004) and the latest of the pack happens to be Nozomi (2006). one common trait: these nicknames stick. for good. the inventors of such nicknames are up to no good. these nicknames are tools for the derivation of illogical joy through mockery and sarcasm. A usual tirade will go something like, "You are a nozomi", "Nozomi - tragical days in Taiwan", "Welcome aboard Nozomi Airlines. We offer flights to only 3rd world countries and offer UN rations as inflight meals.", followed by maniacal laughter. 3rd parties usually do not understand these jokes, and will be quick to classify them as 'lame -_-', 'dumb -_-', or 'unfunny -_-'. but they all do not matter. in fact, you might really be needing a shrink if you find yourself giggling to phrases like "You are a black Nozomi", really. 7) Whoever can claim to have stepped into a Taiwanese Police Station?  We four can. In a tragical turn of events, dearest Nozomi Mok managed to transfer all her 4000NT worth of cash into a single wallet the night before, then lose the wallet the moment right before we set off for Nozomi's much anticipated destination for clothes, bags and accessories, a place Nozomi has saved 4000NT for. and so, we embarked on our journey to the police station to report the loss. Nozomi claims her fate will change for the better come next year. A claim she has made at the end of 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005. (ok, just kidding) What can i say? All the best, Nozomi! :P 8) Leo Foo Theme Park  The coasters in RollerCoasterTycoon come to life! Flying Connor was exihlirating man. Loved the tummy turnover thrill. Loved the queasiness. Great company on a Taiwanese schoolday (read: no queue) made for great rides. 9) Mee Sua Treat @ Ximeding  As i said it, being in the Northern Hemisphere Midlatitudes in December makes you appreciate piping hot food a whole lot more. Especially when there're loads of Chilli powder, Mariam's Piggy face (see above) and Nozomi's tortured face (see above) to go with. HA! 10) The shopper of a lzt uncovered  Well how could i possibly leave out the shopping part? After all, shopping tends to be an extremely important component of any trip into a capital city like that of taiwan, given that the shopping expenses of a tourist are highly inelastic. highly inelastic like, PED=0.1 please. S$79 wallet, buy. S$2.50 tidbit, sweep off the shelves w/o hesitation. S$35 sling bag, got two of them. S$20 organizer - got three. whahaha. is this what girls call retail therapy? wonderful trip. great company. splendid destination. i love taiwan. the discovery that china airlines is in fact the national carrier of taiwan is an added bonus, for sure. now prom. well, prom is an event that calls for major dolling up. to me, it is basically just that. mrs loke thinks it's a rite of passage to adulthood. well, she needs to appreciate the concept of superficiality more sometimes. as usual, people probably went either glam or insecure. having haunted masses during ahsprom two years ago with an impossibly orange shirt and impossibly flat-lying hair, i've decided to go the extra mile to get myself a golden-brown dye job this year. throw in a blazer with floral design, a purple collar and a pretentious dog tag, and i get people calling my get-up 'vintage' and 'retro', though it was never meant to be anything more than a haphazard combination got together at the very very very last moment (8.30pm the night before) . haha. well, i'll just let pictures do the talking.        food quality was pretty high-end, the only grimace being that the portions were probably designed for ants.  please bear with my narcissistic moment of weakness. i'm just slightly intrigued at the new colour of my hair.  see, my love for the unglamarous never dies. that's about it. i took two and a half friggin hours for this entry! |