|
no, i don't actually have an uncontrollable urge to exterminate teenage girls
Hi, i can be boring sometimes. And i often sound evil to conceal life's banalities. But i really am a kind and peace-loving creature. That despite the URL. |
|
|
about this blog
got neither analytical insights nor flashy pictures to offer just trying to make the mundane a little less mundane! tagboard
affiliates
poo yee
gf
mariam
nanzai
archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed |
i'm finally back on a 5 days block leave. still one piece intact, but not without a slightly bruised ego and newfound urgency to face my insecurities quick. i guess the description of NS as an 'interesting ordeal' pretty much fits. whether you like it or not, conscription law mandates that you cannot defy, much less change anything that should be dished out to you. in camp, anything can be subsumed under the 'regimentation' and 'discipline' umbrella. your sergeants bark at you because 1mm diameter worth of dust was found in the bolt of the window frame? that's part of regimentation and discipline. personal freedom is completely lost during weekdays? that's also part of regimentation and discipline. F words flying all around camp? 20 push ups for moving in a file? weekend confinement for signing out of a box and not filling your water bottle to the brim? uncalled for? no. it's all supposed to stem from the two golden core values, you see. i'm inclined to believe that it's oppression designed to look like it's justifiable through massive amounts of total-defence related brainwashing. (national education being the politically correct term) so much so that it almost seems as if all that is dished out is unquestionably appropriate despite being harsh, strict and in your face - discipline and regimentation is supposedly for the greater good of the country, after all. but when i finally can have a moment for myself after the lights go off at no later than 2230, i still can't help but think..@#$@#$&#$.. holy crap..do i really need to give up freedom, dignity and esteem like that so that singapore can be safe and secure? perhaps the greater picture is just too wide for me to envision. in practical terms, i'm doing relatively ok. i just need more time to adapt to the fact that none of my bunkmates laugh at my type of jokes, and that things like stripping and assembling a rifle can actually take away much of my built-up pride. in case you're wondering, i'm not all bitter and complainy and disgruntled. i've been told to believe that national service is an un-dodgable thing for a good cause, and i would be happier being (mis)led that way if it means that i'll be able to 'serve' with more zeal and less grumbles. so be it. this will pass. |